- Model Self-Regulation in Front of Your Child
Talk out loud about your own feelings, how you will handle the situation, model deep breathing. Practice remaining calm or work to become calm before intervening with your child. This gives your child a model to learn from and allows you to remain calm so that you can effectively coach your child through their upset.
- Create a Safe Space for Your Child
Turn your time out chair into a safe place chair. Add items you already know help to calm your child such as squeeze toys, books, a stuffed animal. Bring your child to this place when they are angry, sad or scared. Current brain development research shows that children need your presence when they are emotionally melting down.
- Read Books About Feelings and Mindfulness
Have your child talk about how the character handled the situation and what worked and what did not. Practice mindfulness or gratitude every day. Helping your child develop their emotionally vocabulary and problem solving will give them tools to handle big emotions.
- Change Your Assumption of "Bad” Behavior to a Lack of Skill
Think about what skill your child needs to learn in the situation and have them practice it. Be sure to notice if they do this on their own next time. Your framework can change how you "see" a situation and how you will approach your child.
- Teach Your Child to Use Their Big Voice During Conflicts
Model assertive language for your child and have them practice using their big voice when confronted with unwanted behavior. Help them to see that words have power. This can lead to a decrease in the use of physical aggression to manage conflicts.